Chapter VIII. Midnight

I miss her. I miss her so fucking much. The only one who knows what happened to her 3 days ago, is Johnny. My confident and one of my best friends, even if the whole band is my family. He thinks it's everything ok as long as she's not being hurt and I think the same. The detail that he doesn't know is that I can't stop thinking about her. There's something in her smile, her eyes and the way she kisses me, that drives me crazy.

I can't wait for the weekend even if only one day is left, I only have 9 more days to spend with her, so I decide to go and visit her as a surprise. She has been busy, I am afraid to ask her why, maybe she regrets what happened or maybe her mom is not ok, but I have to try and visit her.

I call a taxi to drive me to her house. I make him stop a little bit away so she can't see the car lighs, I pay to him and then I walk to her house. There's a big tree in front of her window so I climb by it, until I arrive. I look inside, she looks incrediblewith those clothes, even if she's giving me her back. I open the window slowly, but I am sure she's noticing that. I really hope to not scare her...—Allie— I whisper, a little bit nervous.

I just prepared myself to go to bed. I was studying the whole day, because the last grade is super hard and a lot of work for me. Because of that shit, I haven't seen him for a few days now. This feeling of desire and missing him is killing me. We were texting in whatsapp, but that's nothing compared to have him in real life.

While I am packing my backpack, I can hear someone entering my room through the window. —Klaus, you fucking know my mom is sleeping, so - — I say while I turn around, but when I see who is really standing in front of me, my heart stops for a second. —Synyster— I just say and go fast towards him, to hug him hard. To feel his arms around me again is incredible and something I can never get used to.

I smile while she talks, thinking I am her friend. It seems like I am not the first one to climb that tree to her window. When she turns back to stare at me I only open my arms waiting for her to hug me, and when she does that, I hug her back, strong.—I know this is not the best way to come and visit you, but damn. Those whatsapp conversations and facecalls are not enough for me.— I say and kiss her forehead.—And by the way, you can call me Bradley... or better, Brad— I stare at her face, smiling a little. I don't know if she has an idea of my real name or if this is new for her.— Or I only have Synyster's face?

I smile at him too. "That damn smile of him" I think and take his hand. —Synyster, Bradley or Brad, I don't care...You are you— I reply and put my lips on his, kissing him. Then I stare at him, close to his face. I have to look up a little, because of our high difference. —Isn't it too early to visit the girl at her home?— I ask him, joking and with an naughty smile on my face. I really don't care about these morals, I am just happy to see him again.

I look dawn to her face, smiling a little.—Well, this is the best part about being a rockstar. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.— I joke and I kiss her again to step back and take a look on her room. It's so damn girly, but I like it because it's so personal. Without asking, I start walking around, touching everything. I can see the bands she likes, she has good taste in music.—I am going to send you our freaking albums so you can add them to your collection, I mean, we are the bests...—I laugh, joking, and then I stop in front of her pictures on the wall. She has a lot of photos, mostly with a woman I suppose it's her mom and Klaus. I feel kinda sad because she seems to not have so many friends but... Why? she's incredible.—I am going to keep this one for me.— I say, and show her a photo of her, it seems that someone took it this same year, because she didn't changed a lot. She's smiling in that photo, I really like it.— So you were about to sleep, uh?— I say and I let myself fall on her bed, maybe doing a little bit of noise.

I still stand at the same spot and watch him walking around in my room. He seems to be curious and taking a look at everything what I have. When he stops in front of my collage of pictures, I raise one eyebrow, but stay in silence. Then when he says he wants to keep my picture, I can't but smile. —Yeah, that's what people do at this time, not like you, climbing up to my window— I joke. —And you should be a little careful, my mom is sleeping and trust me, you don't want to wake her— I say and go to lay down next to him.

—If she comes, I'll probably be dead in a few seconds, right? I mean, I am on her little girl's bed— I say, smiling seductive to her and when she lets herself fall on the bed, I hug her by the waist, attracting her to me. I start kissing her face and ther her lips, slow, but not stopping in a while. I know, I am doing the only thing I shouldn't; get involved emotionally, but I really missed her.— So...— I say, close to her face, staring at her eyes with a stupid smile.— This is how an angel's room looks like?— I stand up slowly, because I know if I stay in her bed kissing her It can be dangerous, and I start to take another look on the room. I find something like a "fangirl corner" and I am about to touch it when, with no intention, I let a pencil case fall on the ground. That makes noise.—Oops— I say, hoping her mom is still asleep, but I can hear steps. I can't help but laugh.— I am in trouble?— Probably her mom is listening my voice too, because when I laugh I can't be silent, so I look around searching a hiding place. The first time I think of, is her wardrove.

I enjoy his kisses and close my eyes when his lips end up on mine. Then I stare him too. "God, how much I missed this dumb face" I think. He stands up and I look at him, smiling, but get up fast when the pencils fall down on the ground. I can hear my mom's steps and get in panic. As soon as Synyster is in my wardrobe, the door opens and my mother enters my room. -What the hell are you doing, Allie? Did you take a look on the clock? You know I have to get up early...- She says, with an sleepy voice. —I...— I say while looking around, trying to find a reason. Then I see my phone, grab it and show it to her. —I was facecalling with Klaus, sorry. I will go to sleep now— I say and go to her, to kiss her cheek. —Okay, Good night— She says before she closes the door. I wait till I can't hear her steps anymore and then I go towards my wardrobe and open it. —You can come out—

I try not to laugh when I am inside her wardrobe, because I thought about that classic quote about telling everyone you're gay "Coming out" or "Coming out the closet" so I think it can be funny If I put some of her clothes on top of my own clothes, just to make her laugh. I can't find anything that fits me, so I put a Tshit on my hair as if it was my long hair and I open a drawer of the small piece of furniture that is in there, so when she opens I have a bra on top of my tshirt and that improvised wig. I hold my laugh, staring at her and I step outside.— So... I came out.— I say super serious, but I feel I am going to laugh hard because of her face, so I put my hand over my mouth.

I am going back to my bed, so I am showing him my back, but when he says he came out, I turn around and start laughing loud. I put my hand on my mouth, because I don't want my mom to come in again and I let myself fall on the bed. I grab my pillow and press it against my face while laughing. When I think, I am calm, I take another look on him, but I can't help then start to laugh again. It takes me a few minutes to get myself under control, so I can talk. —Wow, that bra suits you better than me— I say, trying not to laugh again and watching him from my bed.

I laugh too, but in a more sient way, with my hand still on top of my mouth. When we can finally calm down a little and she says that to me, I take her tshirt out of my hair and I look down to that red bra. It's kinda nice and I am sure she looks a way better it him than me, but I love to make her laugh so I pose.— You think so?— I laugh a little and then I take it off too, leaving it on her bed to go and kiss her again. She's laying on the bed, so I go over her to do it. I put a hand on each side of her body, doing some strength against the bed to not drop my weight completely on her.— I am sorry for waking your mother up. Can you forgive me?— I say, whispering, and kissing her in between every single word.

I stare at him, smiling from ear to ear and then he comes to my bed too. He comes over me, what drives my heart crazy. It's like I can feel it beating. I kiss him back everytime, enjoying the taste of his lips. —Mhmmm...—I say while I put my arms around his neck. —You are already forgiven— I reply and kiss him again. —I should really go to sleep now, but...What if you stay here with me for this night? I mean, only if you want... —

—I would love to— I whisper against her lips. Even If I am doing what I wasn't supose to do, getting closer and closer to her, this is an opportunity I don't want to lose, so I stand up just to take my shoes off. Then I do as if I was about to open my pants, but when I see her face, I laugh a little.— It was just a joke, I am going to keep my clothes on, I promise— I say, still laughing and I go back to her bed. I am so into this, right now, that I can't think about anything else as that cruel reality: I have to leave and this between us, has already an end... Then why do I struggle to ignore reason and follow my instincts?. I lay down next to her, on my side, so I can see her face as we did in our first facecall.

I nod and watch him while he is taking off his shoes. He is so good looking, but besides that he has a good heart and that's what makes me feel this way. The way he talks and always tries to make me laugh, makes me weak. Then when he opens his pants, my smile fades and I open my mouth, about to say anything, that I am not ready, but before I can do it he says he is joking. I laugh a little, I should have known he does that, because I know he is too respectful to force me to anything. I lay on my side too and for a few seconds, I only stare at him in silence. Then I cover us with the blanket, take his hand and move closer to him. —I will sleep like a baby with you here...— I whisper and close my eyes. —Good night, Brad—

I hug her. I can feel her skin against mine and her warmness, that makes me feel at home for the first time in months. I smile a little, staring at her with her eyes closed, she looks more angelic than ever.—Good Nights Allie— I say, but I am not closing my eyes or ready to sleep, I really want to stare at her. If our moments together aren't forever, at least I want to remember every single detail of this one. She looks as peaceful sleeping and comfortable between my arms, as I am so finally, maybe one hour later, I fall asleep too.

I wake up with the firsts lights of the day. One of them hits me directly into my eyes coming from the window.—Hmmm— I make a noise, cuddling with her, I don't want to leave her bed, even if I know I have to. Then, her alarm starts ringing.— Fuck...

I sleep between his arms, feeling super good and safe. Suddenly, when I can hear the alarm and him talking, I stop the sound and open my eyes slowly, to look at him. His are still closed, what makes me smile. It's weird to see him like that, he looks like a cute sleeping baby. I put my hand on his head and start to caress his hair. Then I kiss him. —I could get used to wake up like this...— I whipser. I still have a few minutes until I have to get ready and those I want to enjoy with him right now.

I smile feeling her lips on mine, still with my eyes closed and hugging her harder.—Yeah, me too...—I say, opening my eyes to see her face. "But we shouldn't" I think, and I feel a little bit sad inside. But... why? Our attraction is obvious and I like her but, what makes her so different? Why I can't stop thinking about her since the very first day? I kiss her again, and again, at first slow, and little by little a little bit more passionate, stopping before I need her in a more intimate way. I don't want her to think I am here only because I want sex. Maybe that was my idea the first day, but now it's different.— God— I whisper on her lips.— I am going straight to hell because of you, pretty Angel.

—Or I fly you to heaven— I say and smile even more. —I am pretty sure a friend of an angel has a special spot there— I say and touch his face with my hands. Everything seems like a dream, so I do that to make sure it's real and It is. He is real and I couldn't be happier. I hate the fact that he has to leave in a few days. This is the first time I feel loved by a guy, besides Klaus and I don't want to lose that feeling. I get up a little, so that I am sitting now. I bite my lip before I talk again. —I am thinking about to stay at home today and not go to school... I want to stay with you, but on the other hand I don't want to leave Klaus alone—

Now that she's sitting, I move a little to put my head on her lap. I can see her room, but I am not staring at anything in specific, I am just enjoying the moment with her.—Today it's friday, I have to go with the band to prepare everything for tonight...— I look up to her, searching her eyes with mines.— But we can do something after work... maybe you can come and sleep with me on my hotel room... I mean, if you want. Or is it too much?— I ask to her, I really want to stay with her as much as It's possible.

—After you slept in my bed?— I ask, raising one eyebrow and laughing a little. I look down to him before I kiss him again. —No, It's not too much— I say and smile like a child. —But I can't let you go to your band members with an empty stomach...— I say, raising his head, so I can stand up. Then I take his hand and pull him with me. Together we go downstairs to the kitchen, where I turn on the coffee machine. I offer him to sit on one of the chairs while I am searching for food in the fridge, to make breakfast. After a minute, I decided to make omelettes. I turn on the radio and dance a little while cooking. Then when the food and the coffee are ready, we eat together.

I am sure I look like a real mess, but I stare at her, with that big sweater covering her body, her curly hair a little bit messy and dancing, and I can swear I didn't saw anything more perfect than that. When she's almost done I stand up to help her to put everything on the table, asking her where she has the glasses and everything. Everything is so daily, I feel better than ever. Finally, we are eating, she in front of me. I have all the time a little smile in my face while I am with her, but she is always smiling and laughing looking so happy, my heart melts.

I start eating, her omelettes are really good.—I would like to congratulate the chef— I say, pretending I am in a fancy restaurant and then I laugh a little.— No, really. This is so good to be real. The hotel breakfast is always the fucking same— I say and I continue eating, with her. When we are done, I help her to pick up the plates and wash the dishes. I do it fast, because I don't want her to stop me and do everything.—Not everyone can say Synyster Gates washed her plates.— I joke when I am done.

I laugh a little because of how he praises my food. —Well, when my mom isn't at home I have no other choice than cook something— I say. He is so cute, It's unreal. The irony in that is that he looks like a total badass, but secretly he is the kindest person ever.

When we are done eating, we pick up the plates together and when I am about to wash the dishes, he is already doing it. I watch him, smiling and when he finished, I tie my hair together in a bun before I hug him from behind. —And not everyone can say that Synyster Gates wore their bra— I joke, laughing and going in front of him. Then I kiss him. His lips feel like my personal heaven and I think I will never get tired of them. —I will go to get ready. If you want to freshen up, the bathroom is upstairs, at the end of the hallway.— I say before I walk to my room. I choose my outfit for the day and get dressed. When I am done with that and wearing my make up, I go back downstairs and wait for him to be ready too.

—Yeah, a quick shower will be awesome— I say, smiling at her and watch her leave. I stay there just for a moment, taking a breath. It's like I am in the clouds right now, but I am afraid of the fall after all. I walk slowly upstairs, as she said, the bathroom is next to her room so I walk towards it. I don't know why, but when I am passing trough her room I look inside, the door is not completely closed so I can see what's inside. She's half naked, just on her underwear. I stare at her body for a moment but not for so long, because I don't think that's alright so, I take a deep breath and I continue my way to the bathroom.

I enter and close the door. I stare at my reflection in the mirror "What are you doing Gates?" I ask to myself, leaning on the handwash for a moment. Then, I start to get naked and I go into the shower. I do it with cold water, just to kill every fucking thought about her body, and I doesn't waste a lot of time in there. When I am done, I get dressed, or at least half dressed. I go downstairs while I put my tshirt off, so for a momet she can see me like that.—Hey— I say while I walk towards her. On one of my hands, I have my leather jacket and with the other, now I have my phone.—I am calling a taxi to pick me up here, if you don't mind.

I wait for him, sitting on the stairs and putting on my shoes. When I can hear him coming downstairs, I get up and stare at him. For a second, I can see his naked chest, but I try to look away. "Damn" I think and bite my lower lip. Then I look up to him again. I shake my head. —No, of course not— I say and let him call the taxi service. I grab my school bag and wait for him at the door. After a few minutes, he is done and together we leave the house. As soon as we are outside, I can see Klaus waiting at the street for me. Even from the distance, I can see him smiling like a dumb. —This is going to be fun— I whisper, but more like to myself, because I know he might think I had more than just a few kisses with Bradley this night. —Hey— I greet my bestie and hug him.

My mom yells at me as every morning. I hate to wake up just to go to that fucking hell, but when I think about my bestie and how we have fun together, I feel the energy to stand up and go and take a shower. I sing while I am taking that shower, as a routine, the song of the day is "The coconut song".—Ko Ko Ko nut— I sing, while dancing and I do some hair styles on my head out of shampoo foam as a crest.—IT'S A KOKO FRUIT. OF THE KOKO TREE. FROM THE KOKO PALM FAMILY— I finish my shower, still dancing and singing and I get ready.

When I go down stairs, my mom is waiting for me to breakfast together. -Good morning, rockstar...what a concert in your bathroom- My mom says laughing and I go to kiss her before I sit down.— I know, you are asking yourself how the fuck you did it to have such an amazing and perfect son. Hell, there's nothing I can't do perfectly fine— We both laugh and eat our breakfast. Finally, I go to brush my teeth and then I put my school bag on.—Love ya mom!!— I say and go outside to wait in front of Allie's house. She's always later than me, not too much, but I always wait for her in front of her house. It's like a ritual.

When I see her going out with him I can't help but smile. "What a bitch, that's why she didn't pick up the phone last night" I think, but in a good way, I feel happy for her. I go to hug her and then I stare at him, he looks hella good. I lick my finger tip and then I pass it over my eyebrow, brushing it.— You are lucky, Synyster Gates, today you are officially meeting a Star.— I offer him my hand with a very big smile, I can't stop thinking about Allie and him, finally having sex, because my best friend needs that, a good man to make her forget about all the shit. I look at them two, raising my eyebrows.—What a night, right? If you had to rate the night, from 0 to 10, it will be a...?— I say and I start laughing.