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Despite the desire to fight that I used to haveyears ago, when I entered the center, today I felt dejected; without strength to continue or desire to tell my story, my truth. It wasn't in my merit to have entered in such a deep depression, no, not even the death of my dad had sunk me as much as this asylum had managed to do. Being among the walls of the Briarcliff manor it's like being in one of my worst nightmares, only that you will never wake up from it. The pills as well as each and every one of the treatments and cares used in the place seem to, contrary to cure your ills, annul you as a person and make you go crazy until the point of "no return".

I knew that the hospital had a good reputation and that, no matter how hard I tried to talk to someone to get out of here, they would just believe that I am one more crazy person here, and ignore me. It was clear that I would rot in there and complain, at this point, it was only to end up in one of Dr. Harwick's electroshock sessions, which, literally, melted your brain.

We had just finished eating and left the room enabled for it by shuffling to my next destination. I went slow, because I felt dizzy and weak; Sister Jude thought it would be a good idea to increase the dose after discovering that I helped Nancy on the dining room, so right now I am like a kind of zombie, instinctively moving to the place where I spent my evenings, each and every one of the days, like a damn routine that would never end.

My companions, to name them in some way, who had overtaken me on arriving at the place now wander around walking in circles, playing board games or even dancing to that insufferable song that caused me so many headaches. "Don't you ever think about changing that damn song?" I thought as I walk directly towards one of the armchairs and I drop on it when I arrive, sitting carelessly. I look in my robe and take out the pack of cigarettes, luckily in that den they still let us smoke, I take one and after depositing it between my lips I light it on.

I released the smoke slowly while I see the sisters breaking into the place, probably followed by the nurses, usually at that time they give us our medication and watch us until we take it. A real shit, because I feel bad enough to eat another one of those pills. I watch the nurses arrive at the place; just as I feared and, I was about to go to the bathroom or any place to hide, but then I realize that Jude is showing the room to a couple of new patients who come to the group. "More guinea pigs for the Doctor," I thought, adjusting myself to enjoy the new show, not caring anymore about medication or anything that could make me stay there.

Literally accommodating myself, even more, to the point of throwing a roommate out of the couch, to lie down completely even knowing that they would send someone to scold me for that act.


Chapter III. Inmates DJTM3zl

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Chapter III. Inmates 20190522

It's early in the morning. I couldn't sleep any longer, because of the fight yesterday. After Dorian left me, I went to my room and cried in my bed until I fell asleep. The sunlight wakes me and for a few minutes, I just stare at the rooftop of my room. Today, I work the second shift, so I don't need to hurry. Then I get up and go downstairs. —Hello?— I ask loudly, but no one replies. That means, I am alone, what is good actually. I don't want to see him at the moment. I go to take a shower and have breakfast.

Hours passed and afternoon came faster than I wanted. Now, I get ready for work. My eyes are red from crying and I look tired because I didn't get much sleep. I have no moivation to go to work, but I have to. When I am done, I walk outside, where a taxi is already waiting for me. After a while driving, I arrive at the Asylum. I pay the driver and get out of the car. Then I walk to the nursery room, to get dressed with my working clothes. It's shift change right now, so other nurses are there too, but I don't pay attention to them until one of them comes towards me. —Doctor Harwick told to me to give this to you— She says while handing me a name tag. —Thank you— I only say and she nods, leaving me again. When I am ready for work, I stare at the name tag, which says 'Mary Harwick' . Maybe he finally accepts the fact that I am a part of the family too and made this. I clamp it to my uniform and leave the room with the other workers. When we arrive at the common room, patients are already sitting at the tables and on couches or playing around. I take a look on the board on the wall, to see which kind of medicament each patient needs.


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I am still laying there, when Mary arrives I can't help but to stare at her. Quickly my sight searches another target. This time is Pepper, who cries loudly in a corner of the room.

Years passed slowly in Briarcliff and the confinement made her lose track of time, luckily she was allowed to go out into the garden because she was not considered a danger and they didn't think she would escape, that kept her (even in her illness) as sane and happy as possible. It was repetitive to say that Pepper, despite everything, was happy in there, they didn't apply medication on her, because she has no cure for her cranial deformation and she was (and still is) always free to do practically everything she wanted at the time.

In spite of everything, like any person, the woman had her moments of descent. The fact that many of the inmates there despised her for her physical and disability, discouraged her and, although her unhappiness didn't last more than a few minutes, she could end up crying or even hurt herself at that moment.

Precisely that is what its happening at this same exact moment. Pepper had just been insulted and beaten by a couple of high-risk inmates who hate her just for fun and who had already tried to kill her several times. Luckily or unfortunately, the security guards had taken them off on time every time, but Pepper, after that, more than the blows, was emotionally hurt and now stays in a corner of the common room trying to forget all of that, beating herself with her fists on her head and crying, believing that all the pain would go away before, next to the tears.

I stand up and I walk towards her, sitting by her side and taking her hand between mine.—It's ok, Pepper. They won't hurt you again, I promise.— I say, and I raise my hand to call Mary's attention.—We need help here.— I don't want any other nurse to help us, because all of them are Jude's minions. When she's near to us, I whisper.— Hey...— I say, not smiling but looking kind to her.— How it was yesterday?— I ask and I look to both sides, as if we were talking about a secret.— What happened to Nancy Downs?


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While I am preparing everything for the patient visits and putting medicine on the little cart, which the nurses use to transport the medicaments, I hear Chase calling for help. I turn my head around, to see if Jude watches me, but she don't, so I put the pills away and walk towards him. He is sitting on the ground, next to pepper, who is crying. I go down and put my hand on her shoulder before I stare at Chase. Then I take a deep breath before I reply. —She is in her cell and not allowed to eat or drink something for 24 hours— I say. —What happened...?— I ask then and give Pepper a quick look.


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The woman Pepper has in front of her its a beautiful woman, not only because of her physique, although Briarcliff did not allow them to wear very flattering clothes, it is more than clear that she is a beautiful woman, but also because of her heart. Mary always behave well with all the patients (At least on her first day and now), even with her, as if her face was the same as the others, as if her behavior similar toa baby's was very normal, as if Pepper was the same in every way as her and that, precisely, was what made her more beautiful.

The capacities of Pepper, although it seems on the contrary, are many, although her brain had not finished growing as it should, a girl of about eleven or twelve years was able to respond and understand inside, although its exterior shows more years she's not stupid, just ... I she's not an adult.

It should be noted that, the girl, did not speak clearly and it's not able to form long sentences, is not even able to put together more than two words when the nerves took over her, so she usually remain in silent. She looks at the woman with a smile and swung his feet that did not reach the ground, crossed to each other, something she does always.-Pepper Ok- She says and then stands up and runs away, at this hour, there's a nurse who leaves her go outside to play in the front garden.

I stare at Mary now.—Someone beated her, it's something that happens a lot here, more than I-...— I start saying, with a little smile. I think that she's the nurse that we need to make justice in this place, but then I realize something. There's a name on her clothes. My heart stops when I read her surname. My face changes. I am not happy to see her anymore, in fact, now I am so serious that I am sure that she can notice it.— So Nancy is not able to eat or go outside. I see. It's always the same. I just hope she can go out of that basement alive... or maybe not, because maybe she ends up with her brain fried and with less intelligence than a newborn baby. Hope you have fun with that, Harwick.

I stand up and I walk towards the sofas, sitting on the same one as I was laying minutes later. I am pissed and cross-armed. The nurses tell us to line and go to take the pills, but I don't obey. I just lay there. if they want to punish me, I am ready for that.


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I wait for an answer. It takes some seconds before the girl raises her head and says she is okay. I watch her leaving me and Chase behind. Then I turn my head around again, to stare at the man. He looks very kind and charming. If he wouldn't be a patient here, you would think he is a normal guy and someone who is a good friend.

But suddenly, he makes a pause and at this moment, his face changes. I notice him staring at my new name tag. I look down to it, not knowing what made him change his facial expression. Then he stands up and goes to the couch, laying down on it. He didn't call me Mary, as yesterday, he called me Harwick. "But why? Did I do something wrong? And what is he talking about? Why should the people here kill the patients, when they are supposed to heal them?" I think while I stare at him. So many questions, but not even one answer. After the fight with Dorian yesterday, I decided to not ask him anymore. I stand up and go back to my little cart, looking confused. Now it's time to give the patients the medicine. I prepare a little cup for each of them and the people line up. I start handing over their medicaments until I notice that Chase didn't stand up from the couch. —Can you continue for me?— I ask the nurse next to me, take Chase's cup with the pills and go over to him. —You should take them if you ever want to get out of here— I say to him and put the medicine on the little table in front of me.


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